The Medieval Bestseller
I read it somewhere on the Internet...
Friday, August 31, 2007

I'll tell you what the biggest scam in the history of humankind is: Notary Publics. Way back in 2002/2003 I learned that I had identity theft that occurred in 2001. Which was the biggest pain EVER, but I finally got everything worked out in 2004...or so I thought. This year, two different collections agencies are hounding me for two different phone accounts that the fake Jenny Smith opened in my name in the 2001 timeframe. Both are only about $150-200, but these collection agencies might as well be accosting me, threatening to break my limbs or something.

Anyway, so one of the collection agencies (the nicer one, comparatively) has this whole ordeal I have to go through in order to get it cleared from my name. I have to provide copies of my police report, my driver's license, my social security card, the statement of dispute paperwork AND a copy of a bank statement or something similar from the time period of the account to prove where I was living. That was the hardest thing to find (who keeps a bank statement from 2001, six years ago?!), but eventually I found a copy of a paycheck from 2001, so I'm hoping that suffices. On top of all of this, I had to get the statement of dispute notarized.

This, my friends, is how I witnessed the greatest scam of all time. Literally all a notary does is put an ordinary stamp with their name on it (in fact, I had to do the stamping because the woman didn't know how to line it up correctly!), look at your driver's license and take a thumbprint. For all of this I pay them $10. There's no verification of the driver's license (I could have used a fake license) or of the thumbprint.

Hopefully this "verification" of who I am will make these creditors cease and desist from calling me because, literally, it makes me yelling angry every single time I talk with them. And, if you know me, I hardly ever get angry. But when I out.

For the other creditor trying to get me to pay for one of these phone accounts (they are mean and nasty and have horrible Jamaican accents), I put as part of my cover letter, "Please stop calling me. I find your telephone operators to be rude and uncompassionate. I also am really frustrated that you wait years and years to collect upon this debt and then you hound me incessantly to provide proper paperwork within a short period of time, comparatively."

In other news, with the Sister in the hospital, people have been coming around to see her. Not least of which was Father Jose, who I met last summer at the beginning of my chaplain internship. Father Jose is quite irreverent (which I love) and hilarious. Last summer he told Mike and I that he managed to convince another of their interns to greet the Sister when she entered with "Hola, pendeja." So when he came in to the Spiritual Care office the other day, he said that he came to give the Sister her last rites so that she can go to heaven...if there is indeed a heaven, because he heard that there wasn't a heaven anymore.

My interview today was "eh." I don't think the position is right for me, but then when I told that to the guy who was supposed to set up a second interview with me, he told me that he'd pass on my resume to HR for another potential position because I think they like what I can offer them. In other interview news, my favored place wrote me an email to let me know that they're still interested, just working slowly on getting around to the third interview round. That was probably my best news of all day.

A long time ago I devised the most ingenious idea ever, which was to have an entire department in a company dedicated to having meetings. This would free up invaluable hours for the rest of the employees to actually do work, rather than sit in meetings. So, if an employee wanted to have a meeting, they could contact the meeting department, the meeting department would use their own employees and sort of role-play as the various people involved, come to a conclusion, and let you know the outcome. I think this idea is golden. Well, as I was job searching the other day, I saw a listing for this position. My idea is taking hold, people!! Not too long from now you will see salt gum on the checkstands! Mark my words!!

If I don't melt between here and my car, I'll be leaving to go to McGrath State Beach in a few minutes. One of my most favorite things ever is camping on the beach, so I'm hoping and trusting it will be a great time. I've never been to McGrath to camp, but I have generally had good experiences heretofore with Ventura County beaches, so here's to a good time. At the very least, the high will be in the 70s there (60s at night), so it should feel fabulous compared to this incessant 105F degree weather.

I hope you all have a great holiday weekend, except for those in the UK - I hope you just have a great regular weekend...unless it happens to be a bank holiday over there, in which case you can retract this last statement about a great regular weekend and go with the first statement about a holiday weekend.

- Jenny, 8/31/2007 03:40:00 PM

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