The Medieval Bestseller
I read it somewhere on the Internet...
Saturday, March 03, 2007

Within the past day I have been getting these strange SPAM emails on my gmail account. At least, I initially thought they were SPAM, but it has occurred to me within the past few hours that these emails are from real people who are really meaning to email me about something.

The first email was a bit cryptic:
Subject: Hi, saw your post on CL.
Hi, You're probably out and about by the time you read this, but I thought I would give this try. I know a lot of good bars around here, I can tell you some if you want. Depends on what bar you want to go to, there are dance bars or dive bars. Whatever your preference. I'm a 26 year old, struggling filmmaker. Anyways if you want to meet up or want to know what bars you want to go to, send me an email.


I opened it because I thought I may have posted something on CL...if only I could remember (or figure out) what CL is...I do, afterall, peruse a lot of blogs, but I don't usually use my gmail address (if I can help it, I use my AOL), so I was a bit confused. So, when I read struggling filmmaker David's email about going to some good bars around the elusive "here," I figured that this was some new form of elaborate SPAM. So I sent it directly to my SPAM folder.

But then I noticed another email:
Subject: Craigs
Hi Jenny -- Are you there?


Eric appears to be a minimalist with words. This was indeed a totally different SPAM mentality than I am used to. So, I sent that one to the SPAM folder as well.

Then, yet another email:
Subject: 22 male
hi jenny.. 22male from riverside. I'm looking for someone to hangout with.. let me know.. Aim. (runnerd8500)

Embedded within this email were two pictures of runnerd8500. One of him looking contemplative and the other of him showing me that although he lives in his contemplative mind, he also (thinks he) is a stud. At this point, I think I realized that someone, somewhere has signed me up for some dating website in Los Angeles. Then I piece together that there must be some ad on Craig's List that these guys are responding to. I went to the site and tried to search for it, but came up with nothing. Or, perhaps the Mormon Jenny has been getting around - I often get emails from LDS women asking me about the clip-art on my website. It confuses me until I realize that a.) I'm not Mormon and b.) I don't have any Mormon clip-art on my website.

I went back to look at the other emails and realized that both struggling flimmaker David and minimalist Eric included pictures with their emails.

The emails keep coming:
Subject: hey there gorgeous
Hi I'm Nick 24m. I know how you're feeling! I'm 24m but i've been too busy to date! It would be nice to have a great girl to hang out with and have some fun if things work out! I am in San Diego but willing to drive! I'm 5'11 180lbs green/hazel eyes willing to try anything and always up for fun! I'm very openminded and hope to hear back from you! Here's my myspace acct
for pictures!

Hope to hear from you

With all of those exclamation points, it seems that Nick is quite enthusiastic! Or, maybe he doesn't know that there is a period key on the keyboard! Now, it's kinda cool that Nick included his MySpace page, because when I looked at his pictures, I saw that he posts a picture of his mustang, which is apparently "the only girl [he] trusts!" Um...great, Nick. Apparently if you want a "great girl" to hang out with, you might want to get another car.

The emails turned a bit weirder with the next email:
Subject: who's the kid
the shot of that kid is classic...
not a boston fan but thats halarious...funy i didnt see this lastnight...i was looking for something to do as well...i have a great proposal, some friends and i are going to watch some UFC tonight then out bar hopping in Long Beach for my buddy's gfs 21 birthday..wannna join..who knows, we could have fun or maybe you can meet someone in the group..about 15 of us going..youre more than welcomed. take care...


So now I'm piecing together that this ad that was posted that points people to my email address also has a funny picture of a kid in it and has something to do with Boston. The Red Sox, maybe? Actually, it reminds me of this one picture I was sent in an email forward YEARS ago from an old co-worker. Maybe that's the picture he's talking about? Anyway, doesn't matter much, as I would not even consider dating Joe (regardless that he did not attach a photo), as his spelling and grammar is atrocious. Some things matter to me, and although a man doesn't have to be a great speller or grammarian, I do require a bit more facility with the English language than Joe is showcasing.

The most recent email I've received is this:
Subject: hey saw ur post on craigs list im in same boat
hey there saw ur post on craigs list im doin the same sort of thing.... just moved here from CT a couple of days ago. got a place on the beach in Huntington. Where did u go to school in boston? im 24 graduated from roger williams in RI 2 yrs ago. we should meet and get a drink some time, my name is ryan by the way. e-mail me back here or just give me a call ill be hangin around by the beach all day.

ps i attached a pic

I removed Ryan's phone number (as he included it), because I probably should not just post it randomly on the internet. I will, however, show you his picture. I like that with each email I am piecing together more about what this ad that was posted actually says. Apparently, I have gone to school in Boston (quite an accomplishment for me, because my only activity in Boston has been for 2 days). I wonder if "I" (the I who wrote the ad) also used poor grammar and spelling in the ad or if these emails are just a reflection of the sad downfall of the English language in America. Officially, I hate the shortening of "your" to "ur." I know it's easier in a text message, but still. I also am a fan of including an apostrophe when using a conjunction, such as "I'm" or "I'll." All of these guys seem to be a bit young (a touch younger than I would consider dating, really), but you'd think by at least their early 20s they might be able to form a sentence and spell correctly. That's usually covered in primary school.

I probably will delete all of these emails, but part of me is really curious to find the ad itself, which would entail me writing back one of them, explaining that I live in NJ and am not looking to hang out with a 20 year old in a bar in LA, but would love to see the original ad that they're responding to.

- Jenny, 3/03/2007 10:01:00 AM

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