The Medieval Bestseller
I read it somewhere on the Internet...
Friday, January 19, 2007

Well - the interview guy never called. Which is mostly upsetting because I could have done better things with my evening.

BUT!

Before the interview I did manage to watch Green Street Hooligans with Penny, Katy, Jessica and Joy (until she found another mouse in her room). Green Street Hooligans is about these English hooligans who attach themselves to these football (and by football, I mean soccer) "firms" (aka gangs, except they say they don't shoot people like the gangs in South Central do) and they go and start fights with their rival teams' firms. An American guy who gets kicked out of Harvard goes over there and gets involved with one of the firms and learns how to fight and stand up for himself. Other than it being fairly violent (which was a bit hard for me to watch), I thought it was a really good movie.

So while I was waiting for the guy to call, I investigated to see whether these "firms" exist and, if so, if they're really that violent. I found it all very fascinating. Then I left my room because it was apparent that the guy wasn't going to call to interview me and found Penny, Jessica and the Scotsman in Penny's room watching Whose Line is it Anyway?. (I would like everyone to know that the British version of that show is at least 100x funnier.) Anyway, so after I went in to tell them that the guy didn't call, I asked David (aka the Scotsman) if the girls told him about the violent movie we saw tonight. They didn't, so I told him about it and asked him if he knew anyone in a firm.

AND!

The Scotsman got mysteriously quiet. And said he knew about them. And then we told him about how these soccer fans were beating each other up and how they used a Chelsea smile on the American guy. And David knew exactly what a Chelsea smile was. I would like everyone to know that I just looked up Chelsea smile on Wikipedia and found that it redirects to "Glasgow Smile."

NOW,

as we all know, David is from Glasgow. And what I know from my searchings about football firms is that there is a Glaswegian soccer team that has its own firm called the Inter City Firm. Anyone else suspicious at this point? I think our Scotsman is in the Inter City Firm AND possibly had to escape his own country because he was a major in the Inter City Firm and now wants to set his life straight and the only way he can do that is to pose as an aspiring theologian at an innocuous American seminary who wants to return to his homeland to help straighten out miscreants of Scottish society, like he once was.

The proverbial cat is out of the proverbial bag.

I just laid it all out for you. You can come up with your own conclusions. As for me and my house, David's secret is safe with us. I'm just not letting him anywhere near me with a credit card or a razor blade. AND - I'm going to keep an eye on the rest of those Scots. Can't be too careful.

And here I was thinking to myself that Glasgow seemed to be a great city to live in, wondering why I was in America...turns out that I might just be safer to go back home to Los Angeles.

Then, after I did all of this deduction, I went over to Matt's room for his Balderdash party. Unless you have heard me go on and on about it, it is a little known fact that I am fairly talented at this game. Normally, my piece will be twice as far ahead as the next runner-up. It was going like that tonight until (!) Geoff and Meagan landed on the double points space and scored something like six points. I tried my hardest to catch up with them (may I point out that they were a team and I was going solo) but just wasn't able to make it. I think, when it all came down to it, I came in third because on the last turn (when Geoff and Meagan secured their victory) Tony (might I also point out that he was a team with Emily until she left) scored enough to pass me by a point or so. It was a disappointing finish for me.

- Jenny, 1/19/2007 09:23:00 PM

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